


The Brief but Completely Genius Triumph Of The Stupendous Calvin

by Missy



Category: Calvin & Hobbes
Genre: Against all odds, Cookies, Gen, Humor, Sneakiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 12:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s a thirty/seventy chance that Calvin will manage to pull off the greatest cookie heist of all time. But stranger things have happened, now haven’t they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Brief but Completely Genius Triumph Of The Stupendous Calvin

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Trope Bingo: Prompt: Against All Odds

There is nothing gloomier than a child that hasn’t gotten his way. A child who has just what he wants within feet of his small and very active fingers is an injustice that cannot be supported by the promise of character being built.

“This is a travesty,” Calvin informed his tiger, Hobbes. “An entire sheet of cookies cooling on the counter, and we have to save them for slimy old Rosalyn.” 

“I think your mom’s trying to prove you have patience.”

“Pft, patience!” Calvin stared at the cookies with open desire, his stomach growling. “I wonder if she’d know the difference if just one cookie was gone.” He leaned upon his elbows and swung his feet, contemplating the rich bounty that lay before him and laughed at his thwarted hunger pangs.

“It’s your mom,” Hobbes replied quite archly. “She would know.”

Calvin brooded deeply, entering into a sulk that only chocolate or a successful scheme could alleviate. His mom was distracted; on the phone with his grandmother for three straight hours, and not interested in giving Calvin the attention he craved, planting him at the table with a tunafish sandwich and a plate of carrot sticks.

“Maybe if we’re quiet.”

“I don’t think you should,” Hobbes warned. “And who wants a cookie when you’ve got all of this tuna?” Hobbes started munching on Calvin’s sandwich while Calvin snuck very carefully over to the kitchen counter.

Getting up to the right height involved using a stepstool – or a series of drawers pulled carefully out and balanced upon. Because he was part spider at heart, Calvin naturally selected the path of most resistance and climbed up by the rim of the shelving. In inches, he made the climb.

Eventually, he landed a knee atop the counter. Donning a paper towel as a makeshift cape, he felt camouflaged, and brave enough to turn around and glance at his mother.

Mom was, surprisingly, rather distracted at the moment – she was facing in Calvin’s direction but her fingers were knitting together the phone cord, frowning her distraction as she waiting for her own mom to finish talking.

Then, the best thing ever happened – well, as far as Calvin’ appetite was concerned.

SHE TURNED AWAY.

There was no time to waste! Turning toward the sheet of cookies, Calvin worked with every ounce of dexterity he possessed he plucked two Pepperidge Farms cookies from the cupboard. Once he had the backup he very….very….very slowly, Calvin extended his palm and twisted two warm, gooey cookies off the sheet. Stacking them in his sticky palm, he then made the slow trek back to the floor, his ill-gotten gains kept secretively close to his chest. 

Once planted on terra firma, he shot his mom a look – but again, she was distracted. Sitting next to an open-mouthed Hobbes, he stuffed down first one, then the next cookie.

“I don’t believe you just got away with that,” gaped Hobbes. 

“That’s because I’m a mastermind, and you have a tag reading ‘made in Lapland’ on your butt.”

Hobbes frowned. “Lapland?” Hobbes gave a thoughtful pout. “I don’t think there are any tigers in Lapland…”

Calvin’s mother hung up the phone and headed toward the table at that moment. Fortunately, Calvin had already masked his breath with carrot sticks. His mother pecked him upon the head and told him to dress for dinner, and quite confidently did Calvin drag his tiger off to the bathroom for a paw washing.

That was until he head his mother say ‘be sure to wash off all of that chocolate.’

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses characters from **Calvin and Hobbes** , all of whom are the property of **Bill Watterson**. No money was gained from the writing of this fanfiction and all are used under the strictures of of the Berne Convention.


End file.
